5:30 am Lesson #2

This next lesson was learned as I was sitting in the rocker, again feeding Karis, crying and crying out to the Lord that I was just so tired. I felt weak, exhausted, and simply at the end of my rope. In midst of my whining I was reminded that our Lord neither sleeps nor slumbers. He has a constant eye on us. These are the words of Psalm 121 that talk about that fact...

• 1. I will lift up my eyes to the mountains ; From where shall my help come ?

• 2. My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.

• 3. He will not allow your foot to slip ; He who keeps you will not slumber.

• 4. Behold, He who keeps Israel Will neither slumber nor sleep.

• 5. The LORD is your keeper ; The LORD is your shade on your right hand.

• 6. The sun will not smite you by day, Nor the moon by night.

• 7. The LORD will protect you from all evil ; He will keep your soul.

• 8. The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in From this time forth and forever .

I love these verses and the reminder that we have a God who is ready and available to help us in our time of need, no matter what time that may be! At 5:30, in midst of my exhaustion, I knew that the Lord was available for me to approach through prayer. I knew that He does not sleep nor slumber, and I was and am very thankful for that. It was a moment of worship for me, just being reminded of this characteristic of God. I know that I am weak and need sleep to survive (I am learning this fact about myself more and more as I am up with Karis!), and the fact that God does not need it causes me to be more amazed at Him and who He is!

5:30 am Lesson #1

I was sitting in the rocking chair, feeding Karis, and I remembered back to when she was only about a month and a half. She slept through the night from about then until she turned 4 months. When I say sleep through the night, I mean at the very least 8 hour stretches! It was wonderful! I sat there at 5:30 thinking back to those days, being so frustrated with the fact that she wasn't sleeping well anymore, and then this came to my mind....
"This is what I get for being prideful in my heart that my daughter was already sleeping through the night at only a few weeks old."
Almost immediately, as if God was right beside me talking to me, I remembered the verse, "He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities." Psalm 103:10
I was overwhelmed with God's goodness to remind me of this truth. Even though I am still such a sinner, God doesn't deal with me according to my sins. Jesus Christ took on the penalty for my sins past, present and future and dealt with them on the cross. This is the Gospel! Praise God!

Just that morning at church, our pastor Sean Cordell preached on the fact that God now speaks to His people through His Word, the Bible. We don't hear the audible voice of God, but God still speaks! I heard Him loud and clear that early morning feeding my daughter!

Learning Lessons at 5:30 am

My sweet Karis has found enjoyment at waking up at 5:30 am for the past few mornings. As much as I love my child, it has been really difficult for me to serve her with a joyful heart this early in the morning. Adding to the difficulty is that she wakes up once or twice earlier in the night simply needing her pacifier put back. So, I feel I am constantly up and down out of the bed at night. 5:30 rolls around and all I want to do is get her to go back to sleep so I can go back to sleep. However, she won't have it that way. No no, she wants to eat! I have really struggled with anger these past two nights towards Karis' non-sleep, but God has been ever gracious with me.

Last night, as I was sitting in the rocker feeding Karis several truths about God, about my sin, and about this current situation came to my mind. I was so quickly humbled yet encouraged that God would remind me of His truth from His Word at that time. Even in midst of my sinfulness, I felt he was so close to me reminding me of His faithfulness.

I have been so encouraged by the Lord in this that I want to share these thoughts over the next few days. I could write so much on each one, so I'll break it up!

The End is Near!

Here is a quick update in midst of finals week.....

Blake and I took the first half of our Theology final today, and the second half is tomorrow morning.  After that I will officially be done with all of my assignments for seminary!!!  I will graduate on Friday, Lord willing!  I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am about that!  It has been a great experience for me, but I am thankful to be finishing up and able to now focus more on my daughter and my home (I sound like such a grown up mommy, weird!)  I have a list of projects to do and books to read, and I am looking so forward to it all!  First on the to-do list is get this messy/cluttered apartment put back together (it gets quite neglected at finals time, and at other times too!).  First on the reading list, well first 2 on the reading list, "Atonement Child" by Francine Rivers, and "Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney.  Borrowing those from my wonderful friends Lisa Burns and Jennifer Cox.  I will have to post later about those books.  

Well, back to preparing essays on the doctrines of salvation and the Holy Spirit!